you don't have to be from wisconsin to enjoy this blog, but it sure does help.

 

Well, Halloween is over. And you know what that means…
Merry Christmas!

Well, Halloween is over. And you know what that means…

Merry Christmas!

cobbscomedyclub:

NOTICE: JESSICA KIRSON NOW ONE NIGHT ONLY
JESSICA KIRSON, originally booked to play three nights (along with CHRISTINA PAZSITZKY and GINA YASHERE) June 14-16, is now joining Pazsitzky and Yashere for just one night — the final night of their weekend — on Saturday, June 16.
Featuring act MAUREEN LANGAN will perform extended sets on Thursday and Friday.
Details are as follows:

June 14 (Thu) 8 p.m. - Co-headliners: Christina Pazsitzky and Gina Yashere, with Maureen Langlan
June 15 (Fri) 8 p.m. & 10:15 p.m. - Co-headliners: Christina Pazsitzky and Gina Yashere; featuring: Maureen Langlan
June 16 (Sat) 7:30 p.m. & 9:45 p.m. - Co-headliners: Jessica Kirson, Christina Pazsitzky, Gina Yashere; featuring: Maureen Langlan

Feel free to direct message us with any specific questions you may have.

cobbscomedyclub:

NOTICE: JESSICA KIRSON NOW ONE NIGHT ONLY

JESSICA KIRSON, originally booked to play three nights (along with CHRISTINA PAZSITZKY and GINA YASHERE) June 14-16, is now joining Pazsitzky and Yashere for just one night — the final night of their weekend — on Saturday, June 16.

Featuring act MAUREEN LANGAN will perform extended sets on Thursday and Friday.

Details are as follows:

June 14 (Thu) 8 p.m. - Co-headliners: Christina Pazsitzky and Gina Yashere, with Maureen Langlan

June 15 (Fri) 8 p.m. & 10:15 p.m. - Co-headliners: Christina Pazsitzky and Gina Yashere; featuring: Maureen Langlan

June 16 (Sat) 7:30 p.m. & 9:45 p.m. - Co-headliners: Jessica Kirson, Christina Pazsitzky, Gina Yashere; featuring: Maureen Langlan

Feel free to direct message us with any specific questions you may have.

I see all kinds of things on my hourlong walk to work. I see tourists, nudists, cops, protesters, marijuana-smokers, chess-players, panhandlers, and cable car operators. I see vendors selling fresh produce, fish, and live chickens. I see street performers tap dancing on wooden boards, break dancers with boom boxes, bucket drummers, steel drummers, and regular rock ‘n roll drummers.
Above all else, I see weirdos. Crazies. Everywhere. I see the girl who sits in front of the BART station playing with rats. Or the gentleman at Civic Center Plaza with a cat on his head. Or the guy who walks around as if it’s normal to have a toucan perched on his shoulder. Why wouldn’t it be? On the streets of San Francisco, abnormal is the new normal.
But every so often, I see something so far from normal, that I can’t help but stare. Like last week, for instance. I saw something so barbaric and inhumane that, for the first time in months, I stopped in my tracks.
I saw a dog wearing a fur.
Let me say that again. I saw a dog wearing a fur.
I saw a man walking his dogs—two Pomeranians, if I’m not mistaken—one of which was wearing a miniature fur wrap. And as I watched them trounce past the wide brick steps of the Levis store in Union Square, I couldn’t help but feel slightly sick.
Not because I’m anti-fur. (I have no strong opinion on fur. Or faux fur, for that matter.) Not because I’m a cat person. (I’m not.) And certainly not because I’m against dogs in clothes. (Far from it.) Mostly, I felt disgusted because I was looking at a dog—a furry animal in its own right—wearing the fur of another.
Why was I so bothered? It’s not my dog, I thought to myself, and it’s not my place to pass judgement. Maybe I was grossed-out because I wasn’t certain that the fur was, in fact, faux. But would it matter? I’m not sure that it would.
What matters is the fact that somewhere in this world, there are people—an entire team, in fact, of designers, manufacturers, and retail outlets—that foraged a market for doggy furs. (That is, furs for dogs, not the fur of dogs. Hopefully.)
I picture these specialists gathered at an investor meeting, pitching the idea to potential investors.
“You know what’s chic?”
“Besides Dolce & Gabana luggage sets?”
“Fur. And do you know which demographic is lagging the most in terms of fur-wearing?”
“Vegans?”
“Surprisingly, it’s lap dogs. According to this 2008 fur industry study, lap dog owners barely buy any pet clothing made of fur or faux fur….”
And so on.
What’s even more appalling is that some investor thought this was a good enough idea to green-light the project.
“So let me get this straight. You’re saying we should start designing fur pieces for dogs and other pets, to wear over the fur they already have?”
“Exactly.”
“And you think these pet owners are poised to pay upwards of $100 for each piece?”
“I know they are.”
“Brilliant. Here’s $500K to get started.”
It’s pretty much exactly how I imagine the investor meeting with the guy who first pitched the concept of bottled water went.
“So let me get this straight. You’re saying we should put tap water in a bottle and sell it to people who already have the exact same tap water coming out of their kitchen faucets?”
“Exactly.”
“Brilliant. Here’s $500K to get started.”
In the end, it’s not my place to judge whether or not some pet owner wants to dress his dog in the pelt of its somewhat-distant cousin, faux or otherwise. But I will say that I am still curious as to why, of the two Pomeranians I saw walking on the street the other day, only one of them was wearing a fur.

I see all kinds of things on my hourlong walk to work. I see tourists, nudists, cops, protesters, marijuana-smokers, chess-players, panhandlers, and cable car operators. I see vendors selling fresh produce, fish, and live chickens. I see street performers tap dancing on wooden boards, break dancers with boom boxes, bucket drummers, steel drummers, and regular rock ‘n roll drummers.

Above all else, I see weirdos. Crazies. Everywhere. I see the girl who sits in front of the BART station playing with rats. Or the gentleman at Civic Center Plaza with a cat on his head. Or the guy who walks around as if it’s normal to have a toucan perched on his shoulder. Why wouldn’t it be? On the streets of San Francisco, abnormal is the new normal.

But every so often, I see something so far from normal, that I can’t help but stare. Like last week, for instance. I saw something so barbaric and inhumane that, for the first time in months, I stopped in my tracks.

I saw a dog wearing a fur.

Let me say that again. I saw a dog wearing a fur.

I saw a man walking his dogs—two Pomeranians, if I’m not mistaken—one of which was wearing a miniature fur wrap. And as I watched them trounce past the wide brick steps of the Levis store in Union Square, I couldn’t help but feel slightly sick.

Not because I’m anti-fur. (I have no strong opinion on fur. Or faux fur, for that matter.) Not because I’m a cat person. (I’m not.) And certainly not because I’m against dogs in clothes. (Far from it.) Mostly, I felt disgusted because I was looking at a dog—a furry animal in its own right—wearing the fur of another.

Why was I so bothered? It’s not my dog, I thought to myself, and it’s not my place to pass judgement. Maybe I was grossed-out because I wasn’t certain that the fur was, in fact, faux. But would it matter? I’m not sure that it would.

What matters is the fact that somewhere in this world, there are people—an entire team, in fact, of designers, manufacturers, and retail outlets—that foraged a market for doggy furs. (That is, furs for dogs, not the fur of dogs. Hopefully.)

I picture these specialists gathered at an investor meeting, pitching the idea to potential investors.

“You know what’s chic?”

“Besides Dolce & Gabana luggage sets?”

“Fur. And do you know which demographic is lagging the most in terms of fur-wearing?”

“Vegans?”

“Surprisingly, it’s lap dogs. According to this 2008 fur industry study, lap dog owners barely buy any pet clothing made of fur or faux fur….”

And so on.

What’s even more appalling is that some investor thought this was a good enough idea to green-light the project.

“So let me get this straight. You’re saying we should start designing fur pieces for dogs and other pets, to wear over the fur they already have?”

“Exactly.”

“And you think these pet owners are poised to pay upwards of $100 for each piece?”

“I know they are.”

“Brilliant. Here’s $500K to get started.”

It’s pretty much exactly how I imagine the investor meeting with the guy who first pitched the concept of bottled water went.

“So let me get this straight. You’re saying we should put tap water in a bottle and sell it to people who already have the exact same tap water coming out of their kitchen faucets?”

“Exactly.”

“Brilliant. Here’s $500K to get started.”

In the end, it’s not my place to judge whether or not some pet owner wants to dress his dog in the pelt of its somewhat-distant cousin, faux or otherwise. But I will say that I am still curious as to why, of the two Pomeranians I saw walking on the street the other day, only one of them was wearing a fur.

Congratulations to 18 year-old Travis Nez who just became the youngest supervisor for Price County in Wisconsin.

(Source: The Huffington Post)

Homebrew bill signed into law
MADISON, Wis. - Homebrew legislation was signed into state law on Monday, updating current laws regulating the home brewing of fermented malt beverages. The bill allows people who homebrew as a hobby to make and share their homebrew outside of their homes and to hold tasting events and competitions.
“This is common sense legislation that will allow home brewers to continue to pursue a hobby that has been around for decades,” Rep. Dan Kaufert (R-Neenah) said. “The bill will simply allow home brewers to share their homebrew with friends, family members, and club members.”
In other news, raw milk and marijuana are still illegal in the state of Wisconsin.

Homebrew bill signed into law

MADISON, Wis. - Homebrew legislation was signed into state law on Monday, updating current laws regulating the home brewing of fermented malt beverages. The bill allows people who homebrew as a hobby to make and share their homebrew outside of their homes and to hold tasting events and competitions.

“This is common sense legislation that will allow home brewers to continue to pursue a hobby that has been around for decades,” Rep. Dan Kaufert (R-Neenah) said. “The bill will simply allow home brewers to share their homebrew with friends, family members, and club members.”

In other news, raw milk and marijuana are still illegal in the state of Wisconsin.

Ozaukee County no longer the healthiest in Wisconsin
St. Croix County, which borders the Minneapolis-St. Paul metropolitan area, has unseated Ozaukee County as the healthiest county in Wisconsin in an annual health ranking released Tuesday.
But I’m sure Ozaukee will just throw some money at it and be back on top again in no time.

Ozaukee County no longer the healthiest in Wisconsin

St. Croix County, which borders the Minneapolis-St. Paul metropolitan area, has unseated Ozaukee County as the healthiest county in Wisconsin in an annual health ranking released Tuesday.

But I’m sure Ozaukee will just throw some money at it and be back on top again in no time.

Nyjer Morgan (and Toonces the Driving Cat) launch creepiest campaign ever for pet adoption
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a beautiful thing that Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Nyjer “Tony Plush” Morgan is supporting animal rights and the adoption of pets by lending his likeness to PETA’s ‘Adopt, Don’t Buy' campaign. Really, I do.
But this is the creepiest photo of a hockey-turned-baseball player holding a demonic cat that I have ever seen.
(That’s actually Morgan’s adopted cat Slick Willie pictured above. Not Toonces the Driving Cat.)

Nyjer Morgan (and Toonces the Driving Cat) launch creepiest campaign ever for pet adoption

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a beautiful thing that Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Nyjer “Tony Plush” Morgan is supporting animal rights and the adoption of pets by lending his likeness to PETA’s ‘Adopt, Don’t Buy' campaign. Really, I do.

But this is the creepiest photo of a hockey-turned-baseball player holding a demonic cat that I have ever seen.

(That’s actually Morgan’s adopted cat Slick Willie pictured above. Not Toonces the Driving Cat.)

Ancient woman lands plane after pilot passes out at wheel
STURGEON BAY, Wis. - An 80-year-old woman with virtually no flying experience took control of a small plane from her unconscious husband which was dangerously low on fuel and landed it on a runway in northeastern Wisconsin.
Seriously. That happened.
Helen Collins’ 81-year-old husband passed out due to some sort of medical condition (read: he was old as shit), and was pronounced dead a few hours later at a nearby hospital.
Hats off to Ms. Collins for keeping her shit together to land that plane. I don’t know that I would have been able to do it.

Ancient woman lands plane after pilot passes out at wheel

STURGEON BAY, Wis. - An 80-year-old woman with virtually no flying experience took control of a small plane from her unconscious husband which was dangerously low on fuel and landed it on a runway in northeastern Wisconsin.

Seriously. That happened.

Helen Collins’ 81-year-old husband passed out due to some sort of medical condition (read: he was old as shit), and was pronounced dead a few hours later at a nearby hospital.

Hats off to Ms. Collins for keeping her shit together to land that plane. I don’t know that I would have been able to do it.

"I didn’t expect a great big hunky, dunky football guy to come out and dance with such warmth and emotion. … A top-notch performance.”
-‘Dancing with the Stars’ judge Len Goodman on contestant Donald Driver’s rumba

"I didn’t expect a great big hunky, dunky football guy to come out and dance with such warmth and emotion. … A top-notch performance.”

-‘Dancing with the Stars’ judge Len Goodman on contestant Donald Driver’s rumba

Future Jeffrey Dahmer arrested on suspicion of illegally hunting 100 deer
RICHLAND COUNTY, Wis. - Nathan Blaha, 20, and his three friends were arrested last week for what prosecutors call an unprecedented “thrill-kill.”
Blaha faces up to six months in jail for the nocturnal deer-killing spree, in which he and his buddies wandered the back roads of Richland County in a pickup truck, stunned deer with a powerful flood light, and then shot them, leaving their carcasses to rot. According to court documents, the men were competing to “get the most deer,” a contest which Blaha reportedly won by a landslide.
In Wisconsin, deer hunting is a time-honored institution with regulations and ethical rules, all of which Blaha seems to have broken. 
Blaha is facing three counts which, if convicted, could land him 18 months in jail, thousands of dollars in fines, and the revocation of his hunting rights for the next nine years. Punishment which I’m sure will show him the error of his ways, and will lead him down the path toward a successful and fulfilling life as a contributing member of society. As opposed to his current path, which is the most direct route to Serial Killersville, USA.

Future Jeffrey Dahmer arrested on suspicion of illegally hunting 100 deer

RICHLAND COUNTY, Wis. - Nathan Blaha, 20, and his three friends were arrested last week for what prosecutors call an unprecedented “thrill-kill.”

Blaha faces up to six months in jail for the nocturnal deer-killing spree, in which he and his buddies wandered the back roads of Richland County in a pickup truck, stunned deer with a powerful flood light, and then shot them, leaving their carcasses to rot. According to court documents, the men were competing to “get the most deer,” a contest which Blaha reportedly won by a landslide.

In Wisconsin, deer hunting is a time-honored institution with regulations and ethical rules, all of which Blaha seems to have broken. 

Blaha is facing three counts which, if convicted, could land him 18 months in jail, thousands of dollars in fines, and the revocation of his hunting rights for the next nine years. Punishment which I’m sure will show him the error of his ways, and will lead him down the path toward a successful and fulfilling life as a contributing member of society. As opposed to his current path, which is the most direct route to Serial Killersville, USA.

Aaron Rodgers stars in Milwaukee Brewers promotional ads, released today.

(Source: rantsports.com)

Troubled JetBlue pilot from Mequon is USM alum
You know what airlines don’t like? They don’t like pilots using the radio to broadcast their mental breakdowns. Especially when their mid-flight babbling includes such statements as “things don’t matter,” or "we need to take a leap of faith," or "we’re not going to Vegas." No, they don’t appreciate that. Nor do they appreciate their pilots sprinting through the cabin hollering about terrorism, religion, and explosives. They tend to frown on that sort of thing. Another thing they don’t like is when vigilante passengers are forced to apprehend unstable pilots mid-flight with seat belt extensions and zip ties. Yeah, they’re not real big on that.
I think we’ve all heard about the JetBlue pilot (pictured above) who went bananas on a flight from New York to Las Vegas a few days ago. For those of us who haven’t, his name is Clayton Osbon, 49, and he’s facing federal charges for reportedly running through the cabin of of the New York-to-Las Vegas flight screaming about terrorists, al-Qaida, Jesus, and 9/11. 
But wait, there’s more. The guy is from Mequon, Wisconsin, born and raised. Oh, you knew that already? Did you also know that he went to University School of Milwaukee? Apparently rich people go crazy every once in a while, too.
Fun fact: His father, Ronald O. Osbon, was killed in 1995 plane crash with his business partner on their way to the Bahamas where they were going on an expedition for a sunken treasure. And Ronald was flying the plane.

Troubled JetBlue pilot from Mequon is USM alum

You know what airlines don’t like? They don’t like pilots using the radio to broadcast their mental breakdowns. Especially when their mid-flight babbling includes such statements as “things don’t matter,” or "we need to take a leap of faith," or "we’re not going to Vegas." No, they don’t appreciate that. Nor do they appreciate their pilots sprinting through the cabin hollering about terrorism, religion, and explosives. They tend to frown on that sort of thing. Another thing they don’t like is when vigilante passengers are forced to apprehend unstable pilots mid-flight with seat belt extensions and zip ties. Yeah, they’re not real big on that.

I think we’ve all heard about the JetBlue pilot (pictured above) who went bananas on a flight from New York to Las Vegas a few days ago. For those of us who haven’t, his name is Clayton Osbon, 49, and he’s facing federal charges for reportedly running through the cabin of of the New York-to-Las Vegas flight screaming about terrorists, al-Qaida, Jesus, and 9/11.

But wait, there’s more. The guy is from Mequon, Wisconsin, born and raised. Oh, you knew that already? Did you also know that he went to University School of Milwaukee? Apparently rich people go crazy every once in a while, too.

Fun fact: His father, Ronald O. Osbon, was killed in 1995 plane crash with his business partner on their way to the Bahamas where they were going on an expedition for a sunken treasure. And Ronald was flying the plane.