you don't have to be from wisconsin to enjoy this blog, but it sure does help.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Mifflin Street party gets drunk, stabby
Congratulations, Wisconsin. You’ve out-drank yourselves again.
This year Madison’s Mifflin Street Block Party was apparently the craziest its ever been. Which is quite the accomplishment, considering Mifflin is like the drinking Olympics. Drunks far and wide, from Cincinnati to St. Cloud, practice all year round and then amass in Madison at the end of the school year, day-drinking until their balls fall off.
And this year more than ever! Suffice it to say, some people were not pleased.
A very disenchanted Mayor Paul Soglin said Saturday an “extraordinarily” high number of people were taken to detox after boozing it up at the block party. Twenty people, to be exact, compared with five last year.
“This is unacceptable,” he huffed after walking through the crowded block party Saturday afternoon. “The city has no business sponsoring an event where the primary activity is drinking.”
Insert upbeat banter: Oh man, look at Wisconsin, drunk again! Ha-ha, typical Wisconsin! Am I right?
But I wouldn’t be right.
Because once the sun began to go down, things at the block party started to get a little dark when later on there were two stabbings. Yeah. Mifflin apparently went just a little bit psycho in its drunken stupor Saturday evening because, you know, like I said, two people got stabbed.
“I come here because basically if I spend four days here drinking, and even with the plane ticket, it’s cheaper than drinking in New York.”
— Lewis Black tells stories about drinking getting shit-can wasted in Wisconsin
(Source: youtube.com)
Police plan a seven-state crackdown on drunken driving this Fourth of July weekend.
The fuzz will be mainly on the Midwest’s I-94 in six states including Illinois, Indiana, and Wisconsin tonight through early Saturday.
OK I got this info from AP and it’s kinda not making sense to me - I mean, they’re ending the DUI weekend crackdown early Saturday? Isn’t the 4th a Sunday this year?
The one-night effort involves local, county and state cops, with roadside-sobriety checks (NOT IN WISCONSIN - that shit’s still illegal), more cops on the road and seat-belt enforcement zones.
So drink your little hearts out this Independence Day weekend. It’s what our founding fathers fought for.
Just don’t get behind the wheel and try to drive home. Because, (if you’re in Wisconsin, at least) you could get punished with -gasp!- a citation!
And if you’re in any of those other states, you’ll get a DUI, taken to jail, forced to take alcohol class, your license taken away, driving lessons, potentially an interlock ignition device, probably a felony, put on probation for years, and/or forced into alcoholism treatment.
But whatever, ya know.
![On Wisconsin’s lax drunk driving laws:
“We’re still the only state that doesn’t criminalize [for DUI] the first offense.”
- MADD State Council Leadership Chair John Vose](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l4up14GB031qc8d8mo1_400.jpg)
On Wisconsin’s lax drunk driving laws:
“We’re still the only state that doesn’t criminalize [for DUI] the first offense.”
- MADD State Council Leadership Chair John Vose
This is what a “Happy Hour” in downtown San Francisco looks like.
Yeah, tell me about it.
There’s nothing happy about paying $5 for a glass of wine, I don’t care how close to Napa you are.
Also, please shoot me in the face if I ever order a SOJU cocktail.
Seriously.
“They’ll tire of drinking a beer in their garage”
“The smokers will be upset at first, and they might stay out of the bars for a while, but I think they’ll get tired of drinking a beer in their garage and they’ll come back.”
- Ron Fox, owner of The Flame Sports Bar in Menomonie, WI, on the state smoking ban to take effect July 5, 2010.
Green Bay man arrested for 10th DUI
No, seriously.
It’s still a felony in Wisconsin to drunk drive. But not until you’ve gotten your fourth DUI.
Well, this guy got ten.
Even the wildlife are alcoholics: BLACK BEAR MAKES BEER RUN UP NORTH
I’m pretty sure I saw this in a John Candy movie somewhere…
HAYWARD, Wis. (AP)- Shoppers in a Wisconsin grocery store got an unexpected surprise when a 125-pound black bear wandered inside and headed straight for the beer cooler.
The bear stopped Thursday night at Marketplace Foods in Hayward, about 140 miles northeast of Minneapolis, sauntering through the automatic doors and heading straight for the liquor department.
It calmly climbed up 12 feet onto a shelf in the beer cooler where it sat for about an hour while employees helped evacuate customers and summoned wildlife officials.
Polack drives scooter drunk along Marquette Interchange
This is Wisco comedy GOLD.
It reaches new levels of absurdity.
And makes me proud to not only be a Wisconsinite, but to also a Polack.
And a drunk. Well, maybe not a drunk.
And maybe not even that proud.
But it is freaking funny.
It’s GOLD Jerry! GOLD!
Would You Rather: Wisco
WOULD. YOU. RATHER.
You all know the game. You have to choose between two ridiculously awful scenarios, just for the hell of it.
Twitter: Overheard at Summerfest
Well, Summerfest (or, Bummerfest, as my mother calls it) is upon us again, and boy am I jealous.
Seriously.
I have a soft spot in my heart for Summerfest, as trashy as it is. And believe you me, it is as trashy as the day is long.
You see, I have missed it many years in a row now due to my status as a Midwest Refugee and all.
Anyway, I found this hilarious Twitter page called Overheard @ Summerfest where people are encouraged to eavesdrop on drunk white trash at Summerfest (or those making fun of drunk white trash at Summerfest) and then submit their stupid redneck conversations to the internet for ridicule.
For those of you who don’t know me, this is right up my alley.
Let the games begin:
”If you’re sick, if you’re broke, if you’re depressed, Summerfest will cure what ails you.” - Mayor Tom Barrett at opening ceremony.
”Almost got vomited on by a girl from Real World Austin.”
Lady (angry) : “Don’t call me ‘ma’am’, I’d rather be called a MILF!!”
”Saw the classic t-shirt ‘Tell your boobs to stop looking at my eyes’.”
”This is more native Wisconsin than anyone wants to see.”
”The shirtless male count is going up with the beer sales.”
”I am entering a new frontier. Lasagna in stick form. It wonderful and disgusting at the same time.”
Woman to her friend: “Is that guy pregnant?”
”Ewwwww he was shirtless and his muffin top was like *this* big!” [Holds thumb and finger up about 6 inches apart]
And this is only after the first weekend!
You can be sure there will be updates to follow.
Milwaukeeans unhappy about booze ban
Are we shocked?
If you want to hear some alcoholics with Wisconsin accents rationalize their drinking, watch the video above.
In the News: Drinking deeply ingrained in Wisconsin’s culture
Alcohol runs in our blood. It’s at taverns, fests, Brewers games. Wisconsin is famous for its outgoing spirit, but getting home can be deadly.
Beer for beer and shot for shot, when all 50 states belly up to the bar, few can hold their own with Wisconsin.
Binge drinking - we’re No. 1.
Percentage of drinkers in the population - No. 1.
Driving under the influence - No. 1.
To read more about the cultural implications of Wisconsin’s alcoholism, please click here.
