you don't have to be from wisconsin to enjoy this blog, but it sure does help.
Justin Vernon explains Milwaukee reference in the new self-titled Bon Iver album
(Source: The A.V. Club)
This is Wisco comedy GOLD.
It reaches new levels of absurdity.
And makes me proud to not only be a Wisconsinite, but to also a Polack.
And a drunk. Well, maybe not a drunk.
And maybe not even that proud.
But it is freaking funny.
It’s GOLD Jerry! GOLD!
More gems from the Twitter page Overheard @ Summerfest:
Random guy at the ladies bathroom line: “Hey, can my girlfriend cut in front of you? She’s gotta puke.”
”The crowd here at Summerfest is what you’d expect on a free admission day. Yup, kiddie leashes!”
Guy walking by beer tent: “I want to get ARRESTED!”
”I wish I could make myself throw up, but I’m no good at it. But I’m going to try, to make more room.”
”I fell in love but I lost him in the crowd. He looked like Kanye… In a good way.”
I’m a bartender and I ask, “What can I get for you?" Guy says, “Naked.” His wife standing next to him says, “At least he’s honest.”
Hawaiian Shave Ice.
This shiz is the bomb.
When I was a kid, I would always get a mix: Strawberry Daiquiri and Pina Colada.
My parents should have seen the warning signs blinking loud and clear.
I mean honestly. What child can’t choose between the only two non-alcoholic (yet alcoholic) flavors so she had to combine the two.
Here’s a better question:
Who has two thumbs and should have seen alcoholism coming from a young age?
Ok you know what? Don’t answer that question. This is getting kind of sad.
I don’t like this game anymore.
I gotta go.
Well, Summerfest (or, Bummerfest, as my mother calls it) is upon us again, and boy am I jealous.
I have a soft spot in my heart for Summerfest, as trashy as it is. And believe you me, it is as trashy as the day is long.
You see, I have missed it many years in a row now due to my status as a Midwest Refugee and all.
Anyway, I found this hilarious Twitter page called Overheard @ Summerfest where people are encouraged to eavesdrop on drunk white trash at Summerfest (or those making fun of drunk white trash at Summerfest) and then submit their stupid redneck conversations to the internet for ridicule.
For those of you who don’t know me, this is right up my alley.
Let the games begin:
”If you’re sick, if you’re broke, if you’re depressed, Summerfest will cure what ails you.” - Mayor Tom Barrett at opening ceremony.
”Almost got vomited on by a girl from Real World Austin.”
Lady (angry) : “Don’t call me ‘ma’am’, I’d rather be called a MILF!!”
”Saw the classic t-shirt ‘Tell your boobs to stop looking at my eyes’.”
”This is more native Wisconsin than anyone wants to see.”
”The shirtless male count is going up with the beer sales.”
”I am entering a new frontier. Lasagna in stick form. It wonderful and disgusting at the same time.”
Woman to her friend: “Is that guy pregnant?”
”Ewwwww he was shirtless and his muffin top was like *this* big!" [Holds thumb and finger up about 6 inches apart]
Alcohol runs in our blood. It’s at taverns, fests, Brewers games. Wisconsin is famous for its outgoing spirit, but getting home can be deadly.
Beer for beer and shot for shot, when all 50 states belly up to the bar, few can hold their own with Wisconsin.
Binge drinking - we’re No. 1.
Percentage of drinkers in the population - No. 1.
Driving under the influence - No. 1.
To read more about the cultural implications of Wisconsin’s alcoholism, please click here.