midwest refugee

Chicago Third Grade Travel Team “Big Red” Playing at Miller Park

Credit: Kim Michelson

Brett Favre vs. The World Bears: A Photo Essay

Here’s an adorable little collage I put together this morning of Wisconsin’s favorite ex-Packer and semi-hard penis texter at his game in Chicago over the weekend.

Try and see if you can pinpoint the exact moment his hopes and dreams for winning this game are crushed.

So Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are still together.

I guess.

They were spotted together on Halloween in Nashville at some bar.

From what I can tell, Kristin really went out of character by dressing up as a Slutty Jailbird.

And apparently Jay decided to go as a sad emo jock not to dress up this year.

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz…

Retired woman shoots tween in shoulder, is hailed as hero

CHICAGO (Sept. 30) — After a full year of elder abuse and harassment from two neighborhood boys, ages 12 and 13, retired cafeteria worker Margaret Matthews had had enough.

The boys had apparently already burned up her barbecue pit and her flower bed, and were constantly jumping the fence to her yard to terrorize and holler profanities at her on the regular.

No reason for their behavior was specified, but I’m sure the old “boys will be boys” idiom was thrown around for a while.

Until Tuesday, that is, when Matthews hit a breaking point.

The boys had hopped up onto Matthews’ shed in her front yard, throwing bricks at the retiree when she tried to leave her house. When one finally hit her in the chest, Matthews went inside and called the cops.

But being the smart cookie that she is, and knowing the Chicago PD as well as she does, Ms. Matthews knew that the probability of a speedy response time by police was slim, so she took matters into her own hands and returned to face her tween attackers with the only protection she had - a gun.

And this bitch wasn’t afraid to use it either! She tagged the 12-year-old in the shoulder, which was apparently enough to scare the two of them off.

Matthews will not be charged for anything, as she was defending herself - but the boys are being charged for aggravated assault.

I guess boys will be boys, but in a court of law, they will be charged as men.

Awww did Jay Cutler get a boo boo last night?

Or did he get sacked nine times and have to go into the locker room for a good cry to some Radiohead?

Jay Cutler, pictured above in his new light brown fall coat, has this to say of his budding relationship with trainwreck reality star Kristin Cavallari:

“I’m so busy with football and [offensive coordinator] Mike [Martz] and stuff it’s just hard to catch up with that.”

Aw, how romantic.

Is Kristin Cavallari the new Jessica Simpson?

Kristin Cavallari is rumored to be attending tonight’s Monday Night Football game at Soldier Field in support of her lame vagina boyfriend Jay Cutler.

Great. That ought to boost ratings.

I hope she’s wearing a little pink #6 jersey, too. Because if we’ve learned anything from history, when bleach blond reality starlets wear little pink jerseys to their boyfriend’s football games, the boyfriend usually chokes on his own ego, and the girl’s career goes down the drain along with her waistline.

Fingers crossed

God, I love football season.

Well, apparently dating a reality TV star is having the opposite effect on Jay Cutler than it did on Tony Romo, as da Bearsss are leading the NFC North right now with a record of 2-0.

So far.

A week from today, however, brings the 2-0 Green Bay Packers to Soldier Field for Monday Night Football to try and usurp the Bears’ status.

Maybe if the Packer fans can scrounge up some of those Jessica Simpson masks for the game, we can try and get inside Cutler’s head a’la Tony Romo circa 2007.

You’ve got a week to work on this, people. Whaddaya say?

“Sources” reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com, who then revealed it to the rest of the world, that party girl Kristin Cavallari and everyone’s favorite vagina quarterback Jay Cutler were all over each other, ‘kissing and acting all in love’ Tuesday night at Chicago’s Angels and Kings lounge.

Apparently Kristin is in Chicago this week where she’s been rubbing up on the former Broncos quarterback. Sitting at the sidewalk café with three additional friends, the new couple reportedly ordered spring rolls, popcorn shrimp and mac and cheese muffins during their casual dinner, along with a bottle of red wine.

Celebrity asshats - they’re just like us!

Rewind to Labor Day weekend, and Cutler was spotted with KC down in Nashville, near where he spent his college years. 

“They really hit it off,” some bullshit unnamed source tells E! News. “He’s crazy about her and she thinks he’s cute.”

OK barf. Seriously. Someone hand me a pistol.

One report even goes on to say that Jay met Kristin’s mom during some kind of meet and greet for something or other, because the reality star was in town visiting her “fam” over the weekend.

The fam?! OMFG, you guys!

Milwaukee, Wis. — Dwyane Wade is back in his old college stomping grounds again this week putting in some face time for area youths.

Wade is in town this week giving back to the city that saw him through his college basketball career at Marquette University. The wildly successful Miami Heat player sat in today on an awards ceremony celebrating five special students at the Boys & Girls Club of America’s Youth of the Year event honoring these hardworking students who will enter Marquette University as freshmen in the fall and, for their four years of college, will never, ever pay a cent of tuition.

Yes, you read that correctly. In part with The Boys & Girls Club, Marquette University, and Dwyane’s own cleverly-named Wade’s World Foundation, these five incoming freshmen will never even have to look at a tuition bill.

Pretty sweet, hey?

And while it goes without saying that I am undoubtedly thrilled for the wealth of opportunities this will provide these bright young students, I’m equally impressed that D-Wade showed up in Milwaukee for these kids today. That, in itself, is fucking amazing.

What a tremendous example he’s setting for these kids, right off the bat. I mean, let’s be honest - nobody shows up for anything anymore! In a society where it’s become undeniably easier to use text message instead of the telephone, where a cure-all for even the mildest of setback is to blindly throw money at the problem until it’s out of sight, or where, in the case of some celebrities today, sending a spokesperson to a low-profile (and therefore an arguably unimportant) event in lieu of showing up in person has become quite the norm, the fact that Wade made the effort to personally attend this event really bespeaks of his loyalty to Milwaukee and the value he places on education.

Dwyane Wade cared enough about the college education and future of the kids he sponsors to show up for them today - and with an example like that, hopefully these kids will follow in his footsteps by showing up, every day, for the rest of their lives.