midwest refugee

Whitewater alderman faces drug charges

Whitewater’s 22 year-old alderman Javonni Butler has been charged with two felony charges of delivering marijuana.

According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

Butler, 22, twice sold marijuana to a police informant, according to the criminal complaint.
Butler is a student at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater student from New Berlin. His district includes the Whitewater campus.

So let me get this straight:

We’ve got 22 year-olds as aldermen??
Transporting weed is a felony???
Whitewater has black people????

Something feels weird about this.

MILWAUKEE, Wis. — Milwaukee police busted two incredibly stupid teenagers over the weekend for attempted robbery.

Key word: ATTEMPTED.

They tried robbing a 47-year-old man on his way out of a liquor store, a man who apparently had been around the block one or two times before.

So here’s how it went down: First, one of the masked youngsters whipped out a gun and demanded money from the guy. But instead of cowering in fear as per the plan, the guy took a gamble and knocked the gun out of the kid’s hand with his newly-bought liquor bottle and the two robbers ran away like idiots.

But hey, check it out - Sometimes alcohol does save lives!

Here’s the clincher — A witness actually watched the wannabe hoodlums put their masks on before the attempted robbery, so police were able to track down one of the suspects virtually immediately. Not too much later they picked up the other one.

FAIL.

APPLETON, Wis. - A Milwaukee woman is arrested in an undercover drug and prostitution investigation in Appleton.

Say whaaaat? They have hookers in Appleton??

Police say 25-year-old Vegas Anthony (pictured above) was in a stolen vehicle and had marijuana Monday night when she was arrested and brought to Outagamie County jail.

If you are named after a city where debauchery is a way of life, there’s always that slight chance you might grow up to be a prostitute with the word ‘Daddy’ visibly tattooed to her chest.

“I’ve heard that place is more guarded and harder to get into than a penitentiary.”

Milwaukee, Wis. - Federal agents raided the black brick clubhouse of the American Outlaw Association, a bike gang rivaling the Hell’s Angels, seeking its president and 26 other gang members on Tuesday.

The 12-count indictment unsealed Tuesday alleges that supposed Outlaw President Jack Rosga, age 53, AKA ‘Milwaukee Jack’ ordered Outlaws members to retaliate against the Hell’s Angels motorcycle gang in October for attacking two Outlaws members. Basically, among other things, it sounds like this MKE Jack put a hit out on some Hell’s Angels members, resulting in attempted murder allegations after a Hell’s Angels member in Maine was shot and injured.

And apparently Sons of Anarchy is alive and well in Milwaukee!

Neighbors in the Walker’s Point community on Milwaukee’s south side said that they have never had problems with the club.

Neighbor Andrew Balistreri said he had heard that the building is well-guarded. A large video camera is mounted above the building’s front entrance.

“I always thought that there was possibly something going on,” Balistreri said. “I’ve heard that place is more guarded and harder to get into than a penitentiary. That makes it suspicious, doesn’t it?”

IN THE NEWS: Milw. cop arrested by coworkers in cocaine bust

It seems as though this Christmas, 22-year veteran of the Milwaukee Police Department Lt. Keith Eccher’s name will more than likely be appearing on Santa’s naughty list.

According to the criminal complaint:

Shortly before midnight on May 3, Sgt. Timothy Leitzke was patrolling near 31st and Lloyd streets and approached a hooded man, who ran. Leitzke chased the suspect through yards and over a fence, capturing him.

”Upon apprehending the male, Sergeant Leitzke immediately recognized him to be Lt. Keith Eccher of the Milwaukee Police Department,” the complaint says.

A detective interviewed a woman named Sicily Lawson, who said she had smoked crack with Eccher in his car earlier that night and that she had smoked with him in the past. Police found a plastic bag with cocaine residue in Eccher’s car.

Eccher, who was off-duty at the time of the arrest, was suspended following the arrest. Eccher resigned a day later.

Deputy District Attorney Kent Lovern, who is prosecuting the case, said the delay in charging was because it remained under investigation.

# Cops

# Sgt. Timothy Leitzke

DUDE whatever, Ray Rice

“Everything about this place is terrible, to be honest with you,” said Ray Rice about Lambeau Field last night like a whiny little girl.

”To be honest with you, it was just Lambeau Field,” he said. “I didn’t see anything special. They put us in the middle of nowhere and it’s not a real exciting place.”

No shit buddy. It’s Green Bay…the Packer Game on Monday Night Football is the excitement.

And what a gross overstatement. Everything about Green Bay is terrible, Ray? Really? Everything?? Terrible???

Compared to what…Baltimore?

Wisconsin police officer stiff-arms douchebag without spilling beer

You know you’re a Wisconsin Cop when…

A. You’re at a pub crawl with at least twenty other cops, and

B. You apprehend a perpetrator inside the bar with one hand while not spilling the beer in your other hand.

C. All of the above.

IN THE NEWS: Four women and a glued penis

Wausau, WI: Yikes.

Hello, my name is Crazy. I’m from Wisconsin.

This is one of four women who took revenge on a philanderer by GLUING HIS PENIS TO HIS STOMACH. For real. In Wausau, WI.

Didn’t this happen in a movie once?

According to the Huffigton Post,

A married man who planned to rendezvous with one of his handful of lovers at an eastern Wisconsin motel instead found himself bound, blindfolded and assaulted by a group of women out for revenge, according to court documents.

Four women, including his wife, eventually showed up to humiliate the man, who ended up with his penis glued to his stomach in a bizarre plot to punish him for a lover’s quadrangle gone bad, according to the documents filed in Calumet County.

Um, wow. I don’t know if this is amazing or appalling. Or both.

There’s not even anything funny or sarcastic I can say about this to make it better than it already is. It’s just…wow.
Here’s the link, if you wanna read the pathetic, gory details for yourself.
(I mean, seriously…wow.)