you don't have to be from wisconsin to enjoy this blog, but it sure does help.

 

This is a video I made on Xtranormal.

If you’re at the office, do yourself a favor and pop on some headphones. The dialogue is not exactly work-appropriate.

(Source: xtranormal.com)

Mifflin Street party gets drunk, stabby
Congratulations, Wisconsin. You’ve out-drank yourselves again.
This year Madison’s Mifflin Street Block Party was apparently the craziest its ever been. Which is quite the accomplishment, considering Mifflin is like the drinking Olympics. Drunks far and wide, from Cincinnati to St. Cloud, practice all year round and then amass in Madison at the end of the school year, day-drinking until their balls fall off.
And this year more than ever! Suffice it to say, some people were not pleased.
A very disenchanted Mayor Paul Soglin said Saturday an “extraordinarily” high number of people were taken to detox after boozing it up at the block party. Twenty people, to be exact, compared with five last year.
“This is unacceptable,” he huffed after walking through the crowded block party Saturday afternoon. “The city has no business sponsoring an event where the primary activity is drinking.”
Insert upbeat banter: Oh man, look at Wisconsin, drunk again! Ha-ha, typical Wisconsin! Am I right?
But I wouldn’t be right. 
Because once the sun began to go down, things at the block party started to get a little dark when later on there were two stabbings. Yeah. Mifflin apparently went just a little bit psycho in its drunken stupor Saturday evening because, you know, like I said, two people got stabbed.

Mifflin Street party gets drunk, stabby

Congratulations, Wisconsin. You’ve out-drank yourselves again.

This year Madison’s Mifflin Street Block Party was apparently the craziest its ever been. Which is quite the accomplishment, considering Mifflin is like the drinking Olympics. Drunks far and wide, from Cincinnati to St. Cloud, practice all year round and then amass in Madison at the end of the school year, day-drinking until their balls fall off.

And this year more than ever! Suffice it to say, some people were not pleased.

A very disenchanted Mayor Paul Soglin said Saturday an “extraordinarily” high number of people were taken to detox after boozing it up at the block party. Twenty people, to be exact, compared with five last year.

“This is unacceptable,” he huffed after walking through the crowded block party Saturday afternoon. “The city has no business sponsoring an event where the primary activity is drinking.”

Insert upbeat banter: Oh man, look at Wisconsin, drunk again! Ha-ha, typical Wisconsin! Am I right?

But I wouldn’t be right.

Because once the sun began to go down, things at the block party started to get a little dark when later on there were two stabbings. Yeah. Mifflin apparently went just a little bit psycho in its drunken stupor Saturday evening because, you know, like I said, two people got stabbed.

"I come here because basically if I spend four days here drinking, and even with the plane ticket, it’s cheaper than drinking in New York."

— Lewis Black tells stories about drinking getting shit-can wasted in Wisconsin

(Source: youtube.com)

Denver has a bar called the Milwaukee St. Tavern. 
And if it’s not a bar full of Wisconsinites, I’ll be very disappointed.
According to their website:

The Milwaukee St Tavern [is] a unique comfortable place   for drinks, food, Sports   on HDTV, a game of  Thunder Bowling.

Hm.
Well, they got the ‘bowling’ part right…

Denver has a bar called the Milwaukee St. Tavern.

And if it’s not a bar full of Wisconsinites, I’ll be very disappointed.

According to their website:

The Milwaukee St Tavern [is] a unique comfortable place for drinks, food, Sports on HDTV, a game of Thunder Bowling.

Hm.

Well, they got the ‘bowling’ part right…

"Recovering marijuana addict" gets pulled over for making a sandwich while driving
Wauwatosa, Wis. — It’s half past nine on the evening of September 12 and there’s a reckless driver is on the road. 
Likely drunk, the car is swerving between lanes, nearly hitting other cars, and is failing to signal when turning. Given the driving habits of the average Wisconsinite, this should come at little to no shock.
What may be surprising, however, was what was police discovered upon approachingthe vehicle.
When the officer who finally pulled the car over approached the car, he realized that the 24-year-old  driver wasn’t necessarily drunk as he had originally assumed — he was busy making a sandwich.
Yes, that’s right — this guy was making a fucking sandwich behind the wheel. He had a loaf of  bread, some cheese, and packages of salami all laid out on his passenger seat and was obviously paying more attention to his culinary activities than not crashing his car.
When asked, the driver said he had gotten into a fight  with his mother and was “just driving around.” 
Hey mama’s boy, binge eat, much?
So the guy’s pulled over at the side of the road for preparing food while driving, when he starts confessing a bunch of shit he probably shouldn’t have. Like that he’s a  recovering marijuana and oxycodone addict. 
Because that’s always a good thing to willingly admit to police when your sobriety is in question.
And even though our recovering reefer-addict denied using drugs that day, he felt it necessary to come clean about his alcohol use. 
He reportedly admitted to the cops that he had consumed between six to ten vodka drinks  earlier that morning. 
Six to ten vodka drinks? Is that all?? 
Geez chatterbox, let us know when you have something of interest to confess next time you’re pulled over for erratic driving.
Even though his blood alcohol content was reportedly only 0.05%, he was arrested anyway.
And everyone lived happily ever after. Or something to that effect.

"Recovering marijuana addict" gets pulled over for making a sandwich while driving

Wauwatosa, Wis. — It’s half past nine on the evening of September 12 and there’s a reckless driver is on the road.

Likely drunk, the car is swerving between lanes, nearly hitting other cars, and is failing to signal when turning. Given the driving habits of the average Wisconsinite, this should come at little to no shock.

What may be surprising, however, was what was police discovered upon approachingthe vehicle.

When the officer who finally pulled the car over approached the car, he realized that the 24-year-old driver wasn’t necessarily drunk as he had originally assumed — he was busy making a sandwich.

Yes, that’s right — this guy was making a fucking sandwich behind the wheel. He had a loaf of bread, some cheese, and packages of salami all laid out on his passenger seat and was obviously paying more attention to his culinary activities than not crashing his car.

When asked, the driver said he had gotten into a fight with his mother and was “just driving around.”

Hey mama’s boy, binge eat, much?

So the guy’s pulled over at the side of the road for preparing food while driving, when he starts confessing a bunch of shit he probably shouldn’t have. Like that he’s a recovering marijuana and oxycodone addict. 

Because that’s always a good thing to willingly admit to police when your sobriety is in question.

And even though our recovering reefer-addict denied using drugs that day, he felt it necessary to come clean about his alcohol use.

He reportedly admitted to the cops that he had consumed between six to ten vodka drinks earlier that morning.

Six to ten vodka drinks? Is that all??

Geez chatterbox, let us know when you have something of interest to confess next time you’re pulled over for erratic driving.

Even though his blood alcohol content was reportedly only 0.05%, he was arrested anyway.

And everyone lived happily ever after. Or something to that effect.

(Source: wauwatosanow.com)

Vintage Favre boozin’ it up with chicks and spittin’ rhymes to 2 Live Crew

This is a video of a 23-year-old Brett Favre singing 2 Live Crew ‘I Wanna Rock (Doo Doo Brown)’ at some party in what I’m guessing is the Milwaukee-metro area, with a bunch of chicks in bikinis, and one tranny.

You can’t put a price on this shit.

Three UW-Madison students have seemingly kick-ass kegger, are fined $86K by local police
Madison, Wis. — Three students racked up $83,000 in fines earlier this month after throwing a huge barrel party at their house, according to reports.
Granted, the boys were selling and encouraging underage drinking without a liquor license, but still.
This is what students in Wisconsin do best - get shit-canned wasted at barrel parties until they puke on their shoes, or off a balcony or something.
I mean, come ON. Have these cops been to Madison before?
Let me rephrase that: Are these officers of the law even American??
And moreover, are they Americans with a firm understanding of the drinking culture that proudly thrives in and around U.S. public universities nationwide???
It’s called having fun and drinking beer - you do it in college.
Sure, hand out a few underage drinking tickets - okay. But $83,000 in fines to some 20-year-olds?
Really?
I can’t even imagine what that hangover felt like.

Three UW-Madison students have seemingly kick-ass kegger, are fined $86K by local police

Madison, Wis. — Three students racked up $83,000 in fines earlier this month after throwing a huge barrel party at their house, according to reports.

Granted, the boys were selling and encouraging underage drinking without a liquor license, but still.

This is what students in Wisconsin do best - get shit-canned wasted at barrel parties until they puke on their shoes, or off a balcony or something.

I mean, come ON. Have these cops been to Madison before?

Let me rephrase that: Are these officers of the law even American??

And moreover, are they Americans with a firm understanding of the drinking culture that proudly thrives in and around U.S. public universities nationwide???

It’s called having fun and drinking beer - you do it in college.

Sure, hand out a few underage drinking tickets - okay. But $83,000 in fines to some 20-year-olds?

Really?

I can’t even imagine what that hangover felt like.

The story of when Brett Favre got hammered with Paul Hornung
Hornung retired from football in 1970, but his desire to have a good time never abated. He hosted a local sports talk-show in Louisville, where his status as a living legend allowed him to book A-list guests, including Brett Favre.
They got together the morning of the show to play a round of golf. Before teeing-off, Favre suggested they “warm up” with a couple Bloody Marys. They drank eight each before the turn.
Still thirsty, they decided a few cold beers would improve the look of the back nine, so Hornung bought a case, which they polished off before the 18th hole.
The show went off a few hours later without a hitch.

The story of when Brett Favre got hammered with Paul Hornung

Hornung retired from football in 1970, but his desire to have a good time never abated. He hosted a local sports talk-show in Louisville, where his status as a living legend allowed him to book A-list guests, including Brett Favre.

They got together the morning of the show to play a round of golf. Before teeing-off, Favre suggested they “warm up” with a couple Bloody Marys. They drank eight each before the turn.

Still thirsty, they decided a few cold beers would improve the look of the back nine, so Hornung bought a case, which they polished off before the 18th hole.

The show went off a few hours later without a hitch.

Brett Favre drinking game rules, by Jeff MacGregor of Sports Illustrated

The nature and number of cliches Favre attracts would make for a  potent drinking game. And since he himself has long since sworn off,  hoist a few in his honor. Drink a shot of redeye when you hear gunslinger. A dram of rum for swashbuckler. A glass of wine whenever an announcer uses the phrase vintage Favre. Drink a mug of Ovaltine when you hear He looks like a kid out there. Chug whenever you hear He’s just trying to make something happen or He threw that one off his back foot. And if you’re  a Packers fan, drink a double shot and turn off the television when you hear He tried to force that one in there.

Brett Favre drinking game rules, by Jeff MacGregor of Sports Illustrated

The nature and number of cliches Favre attracts would make for a potent drinking game. And since he himself has long since sworn off, hoist a few in his honor. Drink a shot of redeye when you hear gunslinger. A dram of rum for swashbuckler. A glass of wine whenever an announcer uses the phrase vintage Favre. Drink a mug of Ovaltine when you hear He looks like a kid out there. Chug whenever you hear He’s just trying to make something happen or He threw that one off his back foot. And if you’re a Packers fan, drink a double shot and turn off the television when you hear He tried to force that one in there.

Hmm, this looks familiar.
Passed out on the ground…CHECK!
Neck craned in a super-awkward position that’s sure to hurt for days…CHECK!
Surrounded by empty beer cans…CHECK!
Pants off, legs spread wide…CHECK!
Likely peed myself…CHECK!
The only difference I see is the fact that when the toddler does any of those things, it’s adorable and completely appropriate.
But when I wake up somewhere all discombobulated, in a pile of empties with just my t-shirt and my diaper really, really sexy panties on, my mom freaks out and I’m supposed to go to an A.A. meeting.
Double standards are a bitch.

Hmm, this looks familiar.

  • Passed out on the ground…CHECK!
  • Neck craned in a super-awkward position that’s sure to hurt for days…CHECK!
  • Surrounded by empty beer cans…CHECK!
  • Pants off, legs spread wide…CHECK!
  • Likely peed myself…CHECK!

The only difference I see is the fact that when the toddler does any of those things, it’s adorable and completely appropriate.

But when I wake up somewhere all discombobulated, in a pile of empties with just my t-shirt and my diaper really, really sexy panties on, my mom freaks out and I’m supposed to go to an A.A. meeting.

Double standards are a bitch.

HEY MILWAUKEE — Put on your party shoes because the little oompa loompa herself, Miz Snooki Snickers of MTV’s 'Jersey Shore' is comin’ to town!
What?? Don’t judge me! I saw that eye-roll…
You secretly love ‘Jersey Shore.’ We all know you get just as excited as the rest of us when Thursday nights roll around. Or when you’re home alone and you look over at the clock only to realize you’ve “accidentally” watched a six hour ‘Jersey Shore’ marathon. Again.
Or maybe that’s just me.
Whatever - Listen, I don’t have time to defend the popularity of those jerk offs. The ratings speak for themselves.
So when this pint-sized category 5 shit storm named Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi rolls into town on some unsuspecting Friday in September for her scheduled appearance at Suite on downtown Milwaukee’s Old World 3rd Street, please, for the love of everything that is holy, bring in your children, lock up your liquor, and get your ass down into that tornado shelter!
That is, of course, unless you’re Snooki’s type of man - a “juice-head gorilla” - in which case you should feel free to roam that concrete jungle at your own risk. (For those of you scratching your heads right now, the aforementioned keyword juice-head gorilla carries a two-pronged meaning: (1) It refers to a person who juices, or uses steroids to build body mass, and (2) A man whose upper body is so large with defined muscle mass that his body shape mimics that of a gorilla.) 
But be careful out there, Milwaukee - because she may be small, but the girl can drink. Not to mention take a solid backhand to the face. Am I right, fellas?
The undisclosed Friday date will be released shortly, with 200 advance tickets for her visit available starting at 10 a.m. on Sept. 7 by phone (414) 270-9653 or e-mail to party@suitemilwaukee.com.

HEY MILWAUKEE — Put on your party shoes because the little oompa loompa herself, Miz Snooki Snickers of MTV’s 'Jersey Shore' is comin’ to town!

What?? Don’t judge me! I saw that eye-roll…

You secretly love ‘Jersey Shore.’ We all know you get just as excited as the rest of us when Thursday nights roll around. Or when you’re home alone and you look over at the clock only to realize you’ve “accidentally” watched a six hour ‘Jersey Shore’ marathon. Again.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Whatever - Listen, I don’t have time to defend the popularity of those jerk offs. The ratings speak for themselves.

So when this pint-sized category 5 shit storm named Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi rolls into town on some unsuspecting Friday in September for her scheduled appearance at Suite on downtown Milwaukee’s Old World 3rd Street, please, for the love of everything that is holy, bring in your children, lock up your liquor, and get your ass down into that tornado shelter!

That is, of course, unless you’re Snooki’s type of man - a “juice-head gorilla” - in which case you should feel free to roam that concrete jungle at your own risk. (For those of you scratching your heads right now, the aforementioned keyword juice-head gorilla carries a two-pronged meaning: (1) It refers to a person who juices, or uses steroids to build body mass, and (2) A man whose upper body is so large with defined muscle mass that his body shape mimics that of a gorilla.)

But be careful out there, Milwaukee - because she may be small, but the girl can drink. Not to mention take a solid backhand to the face. Am I right, fellas?

The undisclosed Friday date will be released shortly, with 200 advance tickets for her visit available starting at 10 a.m. on Sept. 7 by phone (414) 270-9653 or e-mail to party@suitemilwaukee.com.

Hm…I found this bumper sticker online today.
And although hilarious, I somehow doubt the Milwaukee Bucks endorse this slogan.
But I think I speak for most Milwaukeeans alcoholics when I say that it’d be a lot cooler if they did.

Hm…I found this bumper sticker online today.

And although hilarious, I somehow doubt the Milwaukee Bucks endorse this slogan.

But I think I speak for most Milwaukeeans alcoholics when I say that it’d be a lot cooler if they did.

Wis. GOP candidate wins beer stein contest
Because in Wisconsin, it’s really the drinking contests that matter the most.
Former congressman Mark Neumann defeated three other contestants Thursday night in a stein-holding contest in Milwaukee, advancing him to the  national competition in New York.
The contest requires competitors  to hold a stein full of beer with their arm fully extended. Neumann  made it about five minutes, saying he “definitely played to win.”

Wis. GOP candidate wins beer stein contest

Because in Wisconsin, it’s really the drinking contests that matter the most.

Former congressman Mark Neumann defeated three other contestants Thursday night in a stein-holding contest in Milwaukee, advancing him to the national competition in New York.

The contest requires competitors to hold a stein full of beer with their arm fully extended. Neumann made it about five minutes, saying he “definitely played to win.”

Life’s too short, and Milwaukee power couple John and Adrienne Grunau don’t want any regrets. 
Which is why they’ve decided to follow one of their passions: Winemaking.
John, the son of Milwaukee economic development heavyweight father Gary Grunau, joined the Grunau Company after achieving a degree in Economics at the University of New Mexico.
…And now he’s making wine!
That’s awesome. 
Congrats and many thanks to John and Adrienne for helping to keep Milwaukee sauced for generations to come.

Life’s too short, and Milwaukee power couple John and Adrienne Grunau don’t want any regrets.

Which is why they’ve decided to follow one of their passions: Winemaking.

John, the son of Milwaukee economic development heavyweight father Gary Grunau, joined the Grunau Company after achieving a degree in Economics at the University of New Mexico.

…And now he’s making wine!

That’s awesome.

Congrats and many thanks to John and Adrienne for helping to keep Milwaukee sauced for generations to come.