midwest refugee

“I didn’t want to tell you I’m like Billy Madison.”

The Seahawks just drafted Wisconsin guard John Moffitt to their offensive line. And apparently he’s kind of funny.

The 24 year-old, on a conference call with reporters, was asked why he was so old for his class.

He responded that he spent a year in the Peace Corps, which of course peaked the interest of the reporters. But he couldn’t keep the charade going long and finally broke, saying,

“I’m kidding, I didn’t join the Peace Corps. I transferred high schools and I repeated a year of high school. I didn’t want to tell you I’m like Billy Madison. The Peace Corps thing sounds so much better, so if you guys want to print that, feel free.”

What a cutie.

You’re welcome, Seattle.

Rose Bowl 2011: Wisconsin Vs. Texas Cornfed Christian University

Go Bucky, obviously.

Wisconsin Badger Herald Calls Out Student Scalpers

A student paper in Madison, Wis. publicly humiliated a handful of students who were scalping their Rose Bowl tickets for profit earlier this week. They called them out in order to make an example and discourage other students from doing the same.

But I’m not quite as surprised as the rest of the nation is. It’s fucking Madison - WISCONSIN - the Badgers. Badgers football is the pride and joy of Wisconsin’s college sports teams. Of course the locals were pissed!

Here’s an excerpt of the article , in case you can’t read the fine print above:

Truly, there is a special place in Hell for people who buy Rose Bowl tickets with the sole intention of profiting from them. It is entirely unfair to those who actually love this football team and were counting on a cheap face value ticket in order to make the trip to Pasadena an economic reality.

Daaaang!

Well, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from growing up in Wisconsin, it’s that you don’t come between a Wisconsinite and his or her football.

Case and point.

And you know what? I agree. Scalpers who buy tickets for the sole intent of turning a profit are like one step up from…I dunno, Al Qaeda? Seriously, I think it goes Al Qaeda, ticket scalpers, Hitler, and then those cops who write out parking tickets, followed by Dallas Cowboys fans, and so on.

I look forward to your emails, Cowboys fans.

But seriously - who do you think was more in the wrong here? The student scalpers for being dicks, or the newspaper for calling them out on it?

In Green Bay Packer news: Ryan Grant totally wants me

OK it’s like so not a big deal or anything…but Packer running back Ryan Grant personally tweeted at me yesterday, which obviously means he wants me to be the mother of his children.

See above tweet exchange for further proof.

Ryan, call me baby.

As seen at the Raider game.

Wildly famous blogger with cult following gets hand surgery, can’t comment on firing of Brad Childress

San Francisco, CA — Sources say she could get her stitches out as early as tomorrow afternoon, but for now, fans are just going to have to make cheeky remarkss on how Chilly looks kinda like a male Cloris Leachman all on their own.

Check back for updates as this story progresses further.

(The story about the health struggles of a surprisingly young, yet beloved Midwest blogger, that is. Don’t check back for a story on how Childress is likely the long-lost fraternal twin of Cloris Leachman. Because that’s not actually a story. Get your facts straight.)