you don't have to be from wisconsin to enjoy this blog, but it sure does help.

 

Funny Midwestern state laws
Wisconsin: Livestock have the right-of-way on public roads. Sounds about right.
South Dakota: It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. Hold on, they make cheese in South Dakota???
North Dakota: It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on. Or else you’ll get drawn on with a Sharpie.
Ohio: It is illegal to get a fish drunk. Apparently drunken fish is a serious issue in Ohio.
Nebraska: It is illegal to go whale fishing. In Nebraska. Whale fishing. Nebraska.
Minnesota: A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. I don’t even know what to say to that one.
Michigan: A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission. Obviously.
Iowa: A man with a mustache may not kiss a woman in public. Got that, hipsters?
Indiana: Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. Oh. 
Illinois: The English language may not be spoken. Um.

Funny Midwestern state laws

Wisconsin: Livestock have the right-of-way on public roads. Sounds about right.

South Dakota: It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. Hold on, they make cheese in South Dakota???

North Dakota: It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on. Or else you’ll get drawn on with a Sharpie.

Ohio: It is illegal to get a fish drunk. Apparently drunken fish is a serious issue in Ohio.

Nebraska: It is illegal to go whale fishing. In Nebraska. Whale fishing. Nebraska.

Minnesota: A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. I don’t even know what to say to that one.

Michigan: A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission. Obviously.

Iowa: A man with a mustache may not kiss a woman in public. Got that, hipsters?

Indiana: Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. Oh.

Illinois: The English language may not be spoken. Um.

We did open the Packers at -3 and are accumulating money on them like snow in the U.P.

Jay Kornegay, the director of the sportsbook at the Las Vegas Hilton in an e-mail to Sportscenter, referring to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Steinhafels to open in Illinois
Steinhafels furniture and mattress superstore planning to open in Vernon Hills, Illinois next year. If approved, it will be the eighth store for the Waukesha-based chain, and their first store outside of Wisconsin.
You’re welcome, Illinois.

Steinhafels to open in Illinois

Steinhafels furniture and mattress superstore planning to open in Vernon Hills, Illinois next year. If approved, it will be the eighth store for the Waukesha-based chain, and their first store outside of Wisconsin.

You’re welcome, Illinois.

So Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are still together.
I guess.
They were spotted together on Halloween in Nashville at some bar.
From what I can tell, Kristin really went out of character by dressing up as a Slutty Jailbird.
And apparently Jay decided to go as a sad emo jock not to dress up this year.

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz…

So Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are still together.

I guess.

They were spotted together on Halloween in Nashville at some bar.

From what I can tell, Kristin really went out of character by dressing up as a Slutty Jailbird.

And apparently Jay decided to go as a sad emo jock not to dress up this year.

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz…

Retired woman shoots tween in shoulder, is hailed as hero
CHICAGO (Sept. 30) — After a full year of elder abuse and harassment from two neighborhood boys, ages 12 and 13, retired cafeteria worker Margaret Matthews had had enough.
The boys had apparently already burned up her barbecue pit and her flower bed, and were constantly jumping the fence to her yard to terrorize and holler profanities at her on the regular.
No reason for their behavior was specified, but I’m sure the old “boys will be boys” idiom was thrown around for a while.
Until Tuesday, that is, when Matthews hit a breaking point.
The boys had hopped up onto Matthews’ shed in her front yard, throwing bricks at the retiree when she tried to leave her house. When one finally hit her in the chest, Matthews went inside and called the cops.
But being the smart cookie that she is, and knowing the Chicago PD as well as she does, Ms. Matthews knew that the probability of a speedy response time by police was slim, so she took matters into her own hands and returned to face her tween attackers with the only protection she had - a gun.
And this bitch wasn’t afraid to use it either! She tagged the 12-year-old in the shoulder, which was apparently enough to scare the two of them off.
Matthews will not be charged for anything, as she was defending herself - but the boys are being charged for aggravated assault.
I guess boys will be boys, but in a court of law, they will be charged as men.

Retired woman shoots tween in shoulder, is hailed as hero

CHICAGO (Sept. 30) — After a full year of elder abuse and harassment from two neighborhood boys, ages 12 and 13, retired cafeteria worker Margaret Matthews had had enough.

The boys had apparently already burned up her barbecue pit and her flower bed, and were constantly jumping the fence to her yard to terrorize and holler profanities at her on the regular.

No reason for their behavior was specified, but I’m sure the old “boys will be boys” idiom was thrown around for a while.

Until Tuesday, that is, when Matthews hit a breaking point.

The boys had hopped up onto Matthews’ shed in her front yard, throwing bricks at the retiree when she tried to leave her house. When one finally hit her in the chest, Matthews went inside and called the cops.

But being the smart cookie that she is, and knowing the Chicago PD as well as she does, Ms. Matthews knew that the probability of a speedy response time by police was slim, so she took matters into her own hands and returned to face her tween attackers with the only protection she had - a gun.

And this bitch wasn’t afraid to use it either! She tagged the 12-year-old in the shoulder, which was apparently enough to scare the two of them off.

Matthews will not be charged for anything, as she was defending herself - but the boys are being charged for aggravated assault.

I guess boys will be boys, but in a court of law, they will be charged as men.

The 2010 Cubs season might be over, but the memories can live on forever with a commemorative DVD the whole family can enjoy: "The 2010 Chicago Cubs: Chasing Pittsburgh!"

Relive the epic journey to 5th place in stunning HD as the Cubs turned the highest payroll in the National League into nearly 90 losses.

Order today at http://ChasingPittsburgh.com

Jay Cutler, pictured above in his new light brown fall coat, has this to say of his budding relationship with trainwreck reality star Kristin Cavallari:

"I’m so busy with football and [offensive coordinator] Mike [Martz]  and stuff it’s just hard to catch up with that.”

Aw, how romantic.

Jay Cutler, pictured above in his new light brown fall coat, has this to say of his budding relationship with trainwreck reality star Kristin Cavallari:

"I’m so busy with football and [offensive coordinator] Mike [Martz] and stuff it’s just hard to catch up with that.”

Aw, how romantic.

Milwaukee, Wis. — Dwyane Wade is back in his old college stomping grounds again this week putting in some face time for area youths.
Wade is in town this week giving back to the city that saw him   through his college basketball career at Marquette University. The   wildly successful Miami Heat player sat in today on an awards ceremony   celebrating five special students at the Boys & Girls Club of America’s Youth of the Year event honoring these hardworking students who will enter Marquette   University as freshmen in the fall and, for their four years of college,   will never, ever pay a cent of tuition.
Yes, you read that correctly. In part with The Boys & Girls Club,   Marquette University, and Dwyane’s own cleverly-named Wade’s World Foundation, these five incoming   freshmen will never even have to look at a tuition bill.


Pretty sweet, hey?
And while it goes without saying that I am undoubtedly thrilled for  the wealth of opportunities this will provide these bright young  students, I’m equally impressed that D-Wade showed up in Milwaukee for these kids today. That, in itself, is fucking amazing.
What a tremendous example he’s setting for these kids, right off the bat. I mean, let’s be honest - nobody shows  up for anything anymore! In a society where it’s become undeniably  easier to use text message instead of the telephone, where a cure-all  for even the mildest of setback is to blindly throw money at the problem until it’s out of sight, or  where, in the case of some celebrities today, sending a spokesperson to a low-profile (and therefore  an arguably unimportant) event in  lieu of showing up in person has become quite the norm, the fact that  Wade made the effort to personally attend this event really bespeaks of  his loyalty to Milwaukee and the value he places on education.
Dwyane Wade cared enough about the college education and future of  the kids he sponsors to show up for them today - and with an example like that,  hopefully these kids will follow in his footsteps by showing up, every day, for the rest of their lives.

Milwaukee, Wis. Dwyane Wade is back in his old college stomping grounds again this week putting in some face time for area youths.

Wade is in town this week giving back to the city that saw him through his college basketball career at Marquette University. The wildly successful Miami Heat player sat in today on an awards ceremony celebrating five special students at the Boys & Girls Club of America’s Youth of the Year event honoring these hardworking students who will enter Marquette University as freshmen in the fall and, for their four years of college, will never, ever pay a cent of tuition.

Yes, you read that correctly. In part with The Boys & Girls Club, Marquette University, and Dwyane’s own cleverly-named Wade’s World Foundation, these five incoming freshmen will never even have to look at a tuition bill.

Pretty sweet, hey?

And while it goes without saying that I am undoubtedly thrilled for the wealth of opportunities this will provide these bright young students, I’m equally impressed that D-Wade showed up in Milwaukee for these kids today. That, in itself, is fucking amazing.

What a tremendous example he’s setting for these kids, right off the bat. I mean, let’s be honest - nobody shows up for anything anymore! In a society where it’s become undeniably easier to use text message instead of the telephone, where a cure-all for even the mildest of setback is to blindly throw money at the problem until it’s out of sight, or where, in the case of some celebrities today, sending a spokesperson to a low-profile (and therefore an arguably unimportant) event in lieu of showing up in person has become quite the norm, the fact that Wade made the effort to personally attend this event really bespeaks of his loyalty to Milwaukee and the value he places on education.

Dwyane Wade cared enough about the college education and future of the kids he sponsors to show up for them today - and with an example like that, hopefully these kids will follow in his footsteps by showing up, every day, for the rest of their lives.

Brewers 18, Cubs 1  …Wait, what???
CHICAGO — Prince Fielder drove in five runs and had five of  Milwaukee`s season-high 26 hits and Yovani Gallardo tied a season-high  with 12 strikeouts as the Brewers pounded Chicago on Monday night.
The Cubs tied a franchise record for hits allowed, matching Sept. 2, 1957, when they lost to the Milwaukee Brave. 
Ryan Braun also had five hits for Milwaukee, which snapped a five-game losing streak.
The Cubs have lost a season-high six straight and have been  outscored 62-17 in that span, including a 17-2 loss to the Rockies over  the weekend.
Haha, Cubs suck.

Brewers 18, Cubs 1  …Wait, what???

CHICAGO — Prince Fielder drove in five runs and had five of Milwaukee`s season-high 26 hits and Yovani Gallardo tied a season-high with 12 strikeouts as the Brewers pounded Chicago on Monday night.

The Cubs tied a franchise record for hits allowed, matching Sept. 2, 1957, when they lost to the Milwaukee Brave.

Ryan Braun also had five hits for Milwaukee, which snapped a five-game losing streak.

The Cubs have lost a season-high six straight and have been outscored 62-17 in that span, including a 17-2 loss to the Rockies over the weekend.

Haha, Cubs suck.

The Crew play Wrigley Field starting today.
Both the Milwaukee Brewers and Chicago Cubs were expected to contend for  a playoff spot this year. Instead, the two clubs will both be looking  to snap five-game losing streaks in this evening’s opener of a three-game series at Wrigley Field.

The Crew play Wrigley Field starting today.

Both the Milwaukee Brewers and Chicago Cubs were expected to contend for a playoff spot this year. Instead, the two clubs will both be looking to snap five-game losing streaks in this evening’s opener of a three-game series at Wrigley Field.

See this photo right here? Looks exhilarating, doesn’t it?
Yeah, I guess.
Now, let’s picture something slightly different. This time, nstead of a taut safety net set as pictured above, try and visualize the safety net instead resting only two inches above the ground. Yeah. Only two inches. 
And that’s where today’s news story begins.
Teagan Marti of Florida, fell at least 40 feet to the ground after a safety net on the Terminal Velocity ride at Extreme World failed to break her fall.
OK OUCH. That’s fucked up.
She was in critical condition Saturday evening at American Family Children’s Hospital in Madison.
Seriously, how is, say, the American Eagle wooden roller coaster at Great America in Gurnee, IL still totally fine and running, but this sketchy “controlled” free-fall ride made by some German company like five minutes ago putting people in the ICU?? 
Scares the bejeezus out of me I’ll tell you what.
And as an afterthought, what kind of person’s idea of fun is jumping off a structure over 40 feet high only to supposedly be caught at the very last minute by a net? I can honestly tell you that I would never in a million years be caught dead on any sort of free-fall ride. No thanks. I cried after Giant Drop at Great America once. I was eighteen years old. I’m not ashamed.
That shit is for the suicidal, honestly.

See this photo right here? Looks exhilarating, doesn’t it?

Yeah, I guess.

Now, let’s picture something slightly different. This time, nstead of a taut safety net set as pictured above, try and visualize the safety net instead resting only two inches above the ground. Yeah. Only two inches.

And that’s where today’s news story begins.

Teagan Marti of Florida, fell at least 40 feet to the ground after a safety net on the Terminal Velocity ride at Extreme World failed to break her fall.

OK OUCH. That’s fucked up.

She was in critical condition Saturday evening at American Family Children’s Hospital in Madison.

Seriously, how is, say, the American Eagle wooden roller coaster at Great America in Gurnee, IL still totally fine and running, but this sketchy “controlled” free-fall ride made by some German company like five minutes ago putting people in the ICU??

Scares the bejeezus out of me I’ll tell you what.

And as an afterthought, what kind of person’s idea of fun is jumping off a structure over 40 feet high only to supposedly be caught at the very last minute by a net? I can honestly tell you that I would never in a million years be caught dead on any sort of free-fall ride. No thanks. I cried after Giant Drop at Great America once. I was eighteen years old. I’m not ashamed.

That shit is for the suicidal, honestly.

Milwaukee, Wis. — Apparently the Blackhawks are originally from Germany.
Or at least, these drunks fans are.
Photo taken at German Fest over the weekend.

Milwaukee, Wis. — Apparently the Blackhawks are originally from Germany.

Or at least, these drunks fans are.

Photo taken at German Fest over the weekend.