midwest refugee

Nyjer Morgan (and Toonces the Driving Cat) launch creepiest campaign ever for pet adoption

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a beautiful thing that Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Nyjer “Tony Plush” Morgan is supporting animal rights and the adoption of pets by lending his likeness to PETA’s ‘Adopt, Don’t Buy’ campaign. Really, I do.

But this is the creepiest photo of a hockey-turned-baseball player holding a demonic cat that I have ever seen.

(That’s actually Morgan’s adopted cat Slick Willie pictured above. Not Toonces the Driving Cat.)

Just to confirm: The end of the rainbow leads to Miller Park.

OVER/UNDER Sausage Wins 2011*

Chorizo: 25 

Bratwurst: 7 

Hot Dog: 40 

Italian Sausage: 19 

Polish Sausage: 30 

*According to Colin Bennett

Chicago Third Grade Travel Team “Big Red” Playing at Miller Park

Credit: Kim Michelson

WATCH OUT everyone, Ryan Braun has his own energy drink.

Or something.

It’s called Limelite Fusion Drink and Braun is just one of several athletes who are sponsoring this low-calorie, low-caffeine energy beverage. Also sponsoring the drink are six more Brewers, a handful of other baseball players, plus, Ken Griffey Jr., Reggie Miller, and two champion fighters of some sort.

According to the website, it’s currently being sold at your local Piggly Wiggly, Festival Foods, Woodman’s Markets, and some other places that I’m pretty sure are made up.

Their marketing strategy is flawless, too. With a tag line like “a healthier, alternative, premium fusion drink with great taste,” I’m already sold. AND, u kno Limelite is hip wit da kidz cuz it’s spelled with an i-t-e at the end, yo!

I haven’t tried it yet, but let’s be honest — it looks like the Reno of energy drinks.

But you tell me. Has anyone tried Limelite Fusion Drink yet? Does it taste like Diet Mountain Dew and strippers?

And more importantly, are they selling it at Miller Park yet?

Look at my killer new bracelet!

It’s real leather, too.

Jealous?

I always come home from Milwaukee with such fun toys.

MILWAUKEE — Major League Baseball Commissioner (and former owner of the Milwaukee Brewers) Allan H. “Bud” Selig made a major gift to UW-Madison on Friday, establishing a chair in the History department that will focus on the relationship between sports and society.

Along with Selig’s gift, owners of the Milwaukee Brewers (Mark Attanasio), Oakland A’s (Lew Wolff) and Boston Red Sox (Tom Werner) also joined together to donate an undisclosed amount of money to the University of Wisconsin with their Suzanne and Allan H. “Bud” Selig Great People Scholarship.

Obviously, this is awesome in that it happened to Wisconsin — but wouldn’t it be double, dare I say, triple awesome if the university defied the sports world’s expectations by choosing a qualified female professor to fill the Bud Selig Chair, rather than selecting from that inevitable short list of white male candidates that is soon to emerge?

“Bud Selig is my hero.” —Hank Aaron at yesterday’s unveiling and dedication ceremony of the Bud Selig statue at Miller Park in Milwaukee, Wis.

P.S. - Rollie Fingers, are you seriously still rocking that mustache??

There he is - Trevor Hoffman, ladies and gentlemen!

Just kickin’ ass and takin’ names.

Thank GOD we beat the Cards last night (no thanks to Ryan Braun) otherwise I would have had to wash down that bottle of Xanax I was clutching toward the end with a glass (or seven) of vodka, and that never really turns out well.

Anyway, congratulations to the Hoff, who is nearing 600 saves and has become one of the top 10 closers in MLB history.

Brewers 18, Cubs 1  …Wait, what???

CHICAGO — Prince Fielder drove in five runs and had five of Milwaukee`s season-high 26 hits and Yovani Gallardo tied a season-high with 12 strikeouts as the Brewers pounded Chicago on Monday night.

The Cubs tied a franchise record for hits allowed, matching Sept. 2, 1957, when they lost to the Milwaukee Brave.

Ryan Braun also had five hits for Milwaukee, which snapped a five-game losing streak.

The Cubs have lost a season-high six straight and have been outscored 62-17 in that span, including a 17-2 loss to the Rockies over the weekend.

Haha, Cubs suck.

The Crew play Wrigley Field starting today.

Both the Milwaukee Brewers and Chicago Cubs were expected to contend for a playoff spot this year. Instead, the two clubs will both be looking to snap five-game losing streaks in this evening’s opener of a three-game series at Wrigley Field.

Jealous?? Yeah. Our mascot slides into a mug of beer when we get a home run.

And thanks to the Brew Crew signing Corey Hart for another three years, we’re sure to see a lot more where those came from.

Hey everyone — That’s the best photoshop of Bob Uecker I’ve ever seen. It’s also Milwaukee County Stadium and not Miller Park. Not that that really matters; just thought I’d point it out.

UPDATE: Apparently this is Miller Park and I’m just a douchelord.