you don't have to be from wisconsin to enjoy this blog, but it sure does help.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
OVER/UNDER Sausage Wins 2011*
Chorizo: 25
Bratwurst: 7
Hot Dog: 40
Italian Sausage: 19
Polish Sausage: 30
*According to Colin Bennett
Why was I the very last person to find out that the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball team has a Pierogy Race during games????
Mimicking the Brewers’ Sausage Race, (which, might I add, is awesome) the Pirates decided they better have a race because, what screams Pittsburgh louder than…a type of Slavic boiled stuffed dumpling?
I mean honestly, I can’t think of anything.
Or, fuck, I dunno — maybe Pittsburgh is known for its Polish immigrant fare and I’m just oblivious. (Oblivious, of course, being code for ‘mildly retarded’ in this case.) Whatever. I honestly don’t care about the history of Pittsburgh’s local cuisine.
What I do care about is the fact that the pierogi runners look just like giant, cartoon vaginas with legs chasing each other around the field.
Which, in my head, means that for every game, there’s some poor Pittsburgh Pirate shmuck who has to say to himself before pulling on the old, smelly vagina costume that someone dressed up and called a pierogi,
“OK Larry, you’re going to put this life-size, human, vagina-with-a-face costume on, and you’re gonna race around that field against three other men in giant vagina costumes because goddammit, you’re Pittsburgh Pirates fans and that’s what we do!
…Or something else. I dunno.
Well la ti frickin da, I didn’t realize it was “GPOYW” …or whatever. So here’s mine.
I’m the one not wearing the chorizo costume.
My friend to run the Brewers sausage race tonight!
Attention! Attention!
My friend who shall remain anonymous will be running in tonight’s Sausage Race at Miller Park against the Atlanta Braves. That’s tonight, Friday, July 24, 2009, 7:00 PM CST.
Mark your calendars, set your watches, this is gonna be a good race.
He’s the bratwurst.
Oops! …I’ve said too much already.
SPORTS: Who needs a sausage party when you can have a SAUSAGE RACE!
The Cardinals’ Jason LaRue Nearly Gets Wienered from JoeSportsFan.com on Vimeo.
Now, this is Milwaukee at its very best.
For those of you sad, sad people who have never been to a Brewer game in Milwaukee before, go sit in the corner a think about what you’ve done. Or not done, I guess. Then, when you’re good and ready, watch this video.
The traditional Sausage Race happens at every Brewer home game at the bottom of the Sixth (6th) Inning and consists of five (5) guys in sausage suits racing around the field. The first Sausage Race happened on Sunday, May 29, 1994 when the Brewers retired the number 19 of Robin Yount to Chariots of Fire. Class acts those Brewers.
Why sausage, you ask? Because in Wisconsin we like us some intestinal meat tubes with sulfites, that’s why! Here are the sausage runners:
#1 Brett Wurst is a bratwurst and wears green Austro-Bavarian lederhosen.
#2 Stosh is a Polish sausage and wears dark sunglasses and a blue and red rugby shirt.
#3 Guido is an Italian sausage and wears a chef’s outfit.
#4 Frankie Furter is a hot dog and wears a baseball uniform.
#5 Cinco or Paco is a chorizo and wears a sombrero.
If that isn’t hilarious enough in itself, Jason LaRue from the Cardinals almost got taken out by the Sausages in the video posted above.
Thanks to my cousin Nikki for giving me the heads up on this one. It’s hilarious and totally appropriate.
